Dating Adventures 2

They never stop. Today’s axe being grinded, is actually about Grindr, well, not really, cause I deleted that BS months ago. Let be honest, I’m a big boy, and no one is looking for that on grindr (virtual home for twinks for twinks, or…4sames). There are, however, other apps I do get a little bit of attention on, mostly geared towards bears and anyone not on Grindr. It is in that vein that my frustration has come lately.

First off, its just an app. The personal indignation strangers claim to suffer when there is no response, or not the response they were looking for, is absurd. I am a pretty nice guy, despite my dating and man tirades, and am always friendly and give people the benefit of the doubt. At least I try to, until they give me reason not to. But, when I’m done, I’m done.

Mostly, I end up being done when someone can’t carry on a conversation. That usually happens when they send some inane starter message like “woof” or “grr” (or they unlock their private photos, which i always look at,  show anyone around me, then pretend I never heard from them. I equate that to flashing, and if you won’t show me your taint on the sidewalk before you’ve introduced yourself, I don’t want to see it online either.). I can deal with the “woof” and “grr” as a greeting, as long as there is something behind it. Usually, there isn’t. Thats when I’m done. When I ask someone how they’re doing, or what they’re up to, in order to get some sort of dialogue going and the response lacks a question for me to answer in return, or is one word (especially when it’s “horny”), I’m done.

Most guys go on with their lives, never to think about me again, which is just peachy if you ask me. However, there are some guys, who take it as a personal insult if I’m not all over their junk and asking to meet their mother after they’ve shown me a photo of them cuddling a puppy dog and then one of their taint. Nope. Done. Why? Cause I never asked, I seldom do. Why? Cause no, thats why. Having photos of the gaping maw a guy calls his backside pushed onto my phone is not my idea of a good time, nor is it going to solicit an invitation to get to know me better.

Yup, I’m pretty much a massive, sometimes hulking, bitch. I just tire of having the same conversation over and over and over again. Guys who ask me continually over and over again “sup?” get no where. While I, of all people, know its just an app and not to take it seriously, I can’t hep but be fucking annoyed that people can’t manage basic conversation. I’m not asking you about your theories on life and politics (cause lets be honest, thats your opinion and i have my opinion, the end. see how easy that is), but I would like to know what kind of music you like to listen to, movies you like to watch and get a feel for what kind of activities I can expect to be privy to if we end up spending time together.

You see? Thats not asking too much am I? I didn’t think so. But then again, Saturday night I stayed home, watched Mary Tyler Moore for a couple hours, and ate half a roasted chicken (which is a staple of my bachelor diet). Where are the guys who are going to eat the other half and tell me we should watch Bewitched next? I don’t know. But those are the guys I want to hang out with and whom I’m determined to find.


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