Although I could probably write one of these stories a week, I try not to. I do post some of the ridiculous and lewd things that people write to me on dating sites, block their names and post them on tumblr on a pretty regular basis though. One of today’s interactions struck me as just rude and unnecessary, so of course you get to hear all the sordid details, well, the transcript of our interaction at least. Ready? GO! (also, I’m going to type it just as I received it, as I don’t believe this dude deserves the dignity of me punctuation his text for him)
Him: Woof big fella interested in playing
Me: Thanks man. Nah, I’m not much of a ‘play’ kind of guy.
Him: what type of guy are you then
Me: The kind that goes out on like 4 dates a year and gets laid even less than that LOL
Him: if that works for you great
Him: at least i tried
Him: you afraid to enjoy men?
Me: Yup, that’s it. You got me.
Him: whatever have a good life
First off, the reason I only go on 4 dates a year, is because I get these types of offers. Do I think anyone would ever say something like this to my face? They have before, but the incidence rate is much lower I assure you.
Anyway, yes, my initial response was a direct ‘no’ to hooking up. I just can’t be bothered, honestly, there isn’t anything a stranger isn’t going to be able to do that I can’t do much better than I can do myself. Just sayin’. But my second response was actually an opening for this dude to step up and ask me out to dinner, or drinks perhaps? I didn’t think that it warranted a judgement about a supposed fear of men. I mean, anxiety here and there, sure, but I don’t go run shrieking and hide behind a fan when one says hello to me. But I don’t think dude ‘tried’ very hard, or very well. I mean, if asking someone out for sex, and then responding once is trying, what the hell have I been doing? I don’t think I know anymore.
Oh well, the adventures continue…Even if my response to dude didn’t. While I love to have the last word, sometimes the effort of dishing at people who can’t fight in a battle of wits, is just not worth the continued subjugation to text sans commas or punctuation in general.