2 Years Ago

One Upon a Time…

But really 2ish years ago, a boy with a name that Starbucks baristas, restaurant reservations people, or his grandparents, couldn’t pronounce or spell, lived in a magical land of fairies, queens, prince alberts, and billionaires who thought it was trendy to look homeless. The boy and his friends had many adventures in and outside this magical place where tiny girls and asian boys (and once in a while a moo-cow) flew through the air with the greatest of ease. The boy’s family lived in a nearby magical land where people played tag with sharks in the ocean and everyone was the color of raisins all year round even if they didn’t try to be. The boy was happy, his life was easy and fun.

One day, the boy and his friend decided to time travel and they visited the 90’s. They spent time exploring a city full of ironic mustaches, it’s Voodoo doughnuts and got drunk and made new friends whom they cheered with when the clock rolled from one 90’s year back to another. On the long journey from the 90’s back to the magical land, the boy told his friend one day he would leave the this place of mission style burritos, and would see what life was like away from it all. The boy’s friend laughed and said that ever since they got drunk on elixir and yelled at people on stage (also known as the night they became friends), the boy had been saying he was going to leave but never did. The boy realized his friend was right, but he was ok with it because his life was fun. The boy’s friend said he should stop talking about it and set a date for this adventure instead of planning it, or it would never happen. In a moment of defiance and courage, the boy set a date to leave the magical land and find a new place to call home. He claimed he would leave by the time the clock struck midnight on the eve of his 30th birthday, and he put it in his daily planner.

Well that didn’t happen, and the boy was very sad and disappointed in himself for not being able to follow through with the specific date in mind (he was loyal to his planner after all). Then his friend took his planner, and moved the date. Suddenly the boy realized he still had a chance, and began telling everyone he was leaving before the big parade in the magical land. Well that didn’t happen. The boy marched in the parade and threw Asians, and got kissed by the sun too often and wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet. So he partied with his friends and family a little while longer. When the party was over, he put his most valued possessions on the street for someone else to value (mostly old shoes and a few tshirts that didn’t fit). He packed up his trusty steed Maxwell and they headed towards the sunrise and a new tomorrow. For 4 days they rode, though unexplored lands, deserts, valleys, the great continental divide, until they came upon a lake. The boy told Maxwell, no further old friend, we will make a home near this beautiful lake, as it reminds me of the ocean (but with less waves and there were very few people the color of raisins who played tag with sharks), and I will be happy here as well.

And the boy lived happily ever after. The end. But not really.

Not surprisingly, moving to a new place isn’t easy, it isn’t always fun and sometimes, you don’t think it was worth the effort. Mostly the thoughts of “this is totally not worth it” happen when you’re sitting bitch on a tin can flying through the air for 4.5 hours, and the pilot of the tin can tells you when you land, the temperature is going to either melt your face off or instantly give you frostbite. Thats when you’re like “seriously, why did I do this.” Then, you unlock the door to your own apartment, one which you never would have been able to afford in the city you fell in love with so many years ago and things change.

Seasons change. Seasons are awesome. If you’ve never seen them or lived in them, i highly recommend them. Spring is like, genius. I’ve never been so stupid happy to see leaves on trees as I am during spring. Summer, is amazing. People are out and about, everywhere (but not me, I prefer AC), drinking, socializing, making plans for fall. Fall, gorgeous. Can’t recommend it highly enough, a cool nip in the air and hoodies all day long, brilliant. Winter, is a cold heartless bitch. She is unrelenting, mean, freezing your contacts to your eyes scary, and it’s awesome. Do you have any idea how alive you feel when you step out of your house and your body gets a shocking dose of cold? It’s refreshing, revolting, and every part of your body feels it at one time, and you’ll love it (especially if you love jackets and scarves and boots as much as I do).

Seasons aren’t the biggest changes to your life that will happen. You’re going to miss people. You’re going to miss your friends, your family, the regular activities you participated in for so long. They’ll all be different. It’s awful, scary, and if you don’t know how to embrace it, it will ruin you. Moving to a new place and finding a new life isn’t about doing your old thing in a new place. It’s not about being the same you in a new place. It’s about becoming a new you. When you relocate, you can totally reinvent yourself. No one knows you. No one knows you’re a bitch. No one knows you hate going to large parties. No one knows you’re not 28. Maybe in this new place, you’re super nice. Maybe in this new place, you’re a person who is super social and loves it and loves attention. Maybe in this new place, you throw parties people can’t wait to attend. Then again, maybe not. The point is, you start over. Do you have any idea how insane that is? You start over.

That’s exactly what I did. Started over. Did I cry myself to sleep countless nights? Yes. Did I delight in finding new places to travel, new neighbhorhoods? You bet your ass I did. Did I take advantage of dirt cheap rent and pay off all my credit cards in two years? Sure did. Did that allow me to buy a condo, with a lake view, more space than I need, in a building that I love (yes, I’m bragging, but I don’t do it very often, so let it go). I sure did. Do I think moving was the hardest, yet best thing I’ve done for myself in the past 10 years…


Would I do it again?

I plan to…


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