The Joys of Homeownership

Just a few highs, and not highs, of owning my place over the past 7 months:

  • Got to write the biggest check I’ve ever written (for the down payment)
  • Reoccuring realization that I never have to move again
  • I can paint! But I haven’t (so glad gays lived in my place before I moved it, it totally works)
  • Furniture shopping
  • Massive TV. Its like watching the Real Housewives fight in person
  • Remodeling! But I haven’t
  • Pride of ownership
  • Continue to write large checks every month (not as thrilling after the first time, I assure you)
  • Larger tax refund
  • Plan awesome vacation in head with larger tax refund
  • Decorating! But I haven’t
  • Sigh with sincere relief when the water leak in the building happened a floor below, not above
  • Come home one night to find refridgerator is not cold and freezer has started to thaw, pray the cold weather knocked out the power or something
  • Wake up in the morning and realize, I own my appliances!
  • Shopping for new appliances!
  • Sudden realization new appliaces will be in exchange for awesome vacation, shop for aroma therapy candles instead of flights
  • Realization that moving isn’t really an option anytime soon when the cloggers above start at 6am
  • Should probably get to know the neighbors
  • Expirment with cooking (also known as, too poor to go out and forgot to grocery shop before -16 degrees hit)
  • Getting creative with work outfits and explaining to my manager why today’s outfit is “totally business casual” because the laundry room was full last night
  • Property taxes!
  • The view
  • Food delivery (trust me, as a kid who grew up in the wilds of Davenport where we couldn’t even get dominos to deliver, having food delivered to your front door is probably the #2 reason I live in a city)
  • Doormen
  • People with pets have to use the freight elevators, right next to me and my clean laundry
  • Trust and Estate planning (also known as, who do I want to get my stuff in case Mayhem strikes in the form of a 16 year old girl like totes freaking out and texting while driving…on the sidewalk, or through a red light)
  • The thrill of telling someone they’re out of “the will” (see also, opening few scenes of The Devine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood)
  • Realization that my will would include a large TV, a bunch of 90’s movies on DVD and a pair of snow boots
  • No longer living in the ghetto